We wrestle. In trying to see God, trying to find God and His gifts of blessing in the everyday, we wrestle. In One Thousand Gifts, Ann reminds her son of the story of Jacob. I needed that reminder, too.
Jacob fought with God through the night, hour after hour, determined not to give up until he received the blessing. Before he was blessed, God touched “the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched.” (Gen 33:25). Other translations say the “sinew of the thigh.” It is one of the most powerful joints in the body, the strongest point. And in wrestling with God, it is broken.
But morning came. The wrestling ceased. Jacob received his blessing. And above all, Jacob saw God.
He didn’t see God that night in magnificent cloud of glory, in brilliant rays of sunshine or a rainbow of splendor, or in a sight too beautiful to behold. He saw him in the wrestling of night. In a fight. And any fight, by nature of conflict, is not pleasant. But that is where Jacob saw the face of God.
And sometimes, that is where we see God.
We have heard that, haven’t we? That God will break us at our strongest point so that we can see Him work in the midst?
God broke Jacob at his strongest point, but….when morning came, Jacob received the blessing. He received the blessing. Isn’t that what we are waiting for? Don’t we also want to be blessed? But even more, don’t we want to see God? Isn’t that what it is all about? The blessing of seeing God.
Sometimes in the midst of the wrestling, that is where we see God. It’s the whole ugly-beautiful thing that I wrote about a few weeks ago. Wading through those hard times, the fighting, to see God. And He may be pressing us at our most powerful point, the place we place the greatest value.
That is where I have been. I feel like I have been wrestling. Wrestling in so many areas. There is so much going on here with the ministry…babies, boys, women, and so many other miscellaneous things. And on top of that, I am wrestling personally. I so badly want (and need) to go to America! I need to see my family, and I need for Julia to see my family! And for them to see her.
Right now, home is my strongest point – the thing that I value greatly. And I am wresting to see it! Wrestling with government offices, government officials, workers who think they are officials, inconsistencies, changes, postponements, false information, corruption, and the list goes on. I am wrestling and fighting for the thing my heart desires. And God is here.
He is showing me that He is greater than all this going on around me. And even if I so badly want to be in America for awhile, He is HERE with me now. He is the One seeing me through. It is HIS face that is in front of me. Am I going to see Him, see His face? Or am I going to be so consumed by the things that delay and things that go wrong that I will not allow myself to Him – to see the blessing and the joy in the here and now?
I pray that today – every day – I will see the face of God as I wrestle through life. I wrestle now, but morning IS coming! I have received the blessing!
If you are wrestling today, hang on! Morning is coming, and the blessings are there. May you see the blessings around you today, the gifts. And in those gifts, may you see the face of God.
125. My cozy Lands End fuzzy slippers at the end of my bed.
126. Little fingers poking hotdogs into cornbread muffin batter.
127. Football in my backyard.
128. Evening sunshine on Baby Girl’s face.
129. Best friends working with uncle in the shamba.
130. Belated birthday lunch with a friend.
131. “Everlasting God” blaring from the boys’ place, louder than my tv.
132. A mini box of Goldfish.
133. A boy’s remorseful tears of apology.
134. Daydreams of days in America with my girl.
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