Narration or Conversation?

I have come to the realization that the majority of my talks with the Lord lately have been more like talks to the Lord, rather than with Him. Do you ever do that? 


I often tell myself that I am communicating with God throughout the day, voicing concerns, frustrations, joys, etc in simple thoughts and conversations as I go about my business. And granted, many times that is true. But as of late, I think that I am really just talking to myself. I have been in a season where the balance would tip more to the side of "just talking," rather than talking to or with God. I have always been one to talk to God throughout the day, recognizing that He is there and responding to His activity around me, but there are also seasons where I seem to kind of move on auto pilot, going through the motions, doing what is normal without giving it much thought. That is where I have been; in that season of going through the motions and talking to the Lord more out of habit than out of a true conversation and enjoying the relationship with Him.


Recently my communication with the Lord seems to have been more of a narration than a conversation. Rather than speaking to Him with intentionality, I am just talking. My dad used to tell me that I talk just to hear myself talk. Lately, I think I have been doing that in the name of "prayer."


True prayer is conversation that involves both sides. Conversation is a combination of talking and listening - on both parts. I haven't been doing much listening lately. I seem to just be narrating my daily routine and activities, not conversing with Him, seeking His advise, looking for His activity in my surroundings, etc. Rather than giving Him the play-by-play of my day and calling it "prayer," I need to reconnect and take time to sit and listen and to not rush through my quiet time so that I can check it off my list or try to squeeze it in before Julia wakes up. I have felt hungry for more of the Lord, yet stuck. Perhaps this is why. 


So, intentional prayer and listening - My goal for this week. No, my goal for life. But I want to focus on it this week. 


Just thought I would share. :-) Maybe I am sensing the need for a little accountability - and what better way than to put it out there for anyone to read?! Yikes!